Dance is my job

I had a revelation today. Bellydance is my job. I've said this before, like when I've justified the expense of getting pedicures before a performance. But it just actually sank in, the full realization of it.

I was driving to my other job this afternoon - my clothing business - thinking about doing an on-line class tonight. Then I realized I was in class last night (Monday), I like to do on-line classes and practice on Tuesdays, I teach on Wednesdays, and I'm gearing up to start a new class on Thursdays. I often rehearse on Fridays, and I dance around the house a lot on the weekends and other times when I'm just puttering around not "officially" dancing. And yet, when I think about how much I dance, I don't think I dance enough.

My dance education is very important to me and a serious priority in my life. I read books about the history and culture of the Middle East. I read about creativity and being an artist, and about teaching dance. I study rhythms and different styles of Middle Eastern music. Taking weekly class and regular workshops is a requirement in my life for me to feel right. I practice choreographies to stay sharp. I improvise so that I can keep my chops for when I get called for a performance on short notice and to come up with new material to present in classes and workshops. I also try to do some classical dance training, such as ballet and jazz, to help improve my dance form overall.

I teach because I have a passion an obsession with bellydance and want to share it with other people. I have put a great deal of time, energy and money into my bellydance education over the past 17 years and I feel that if I can share bellydance with others, and get paid for doing it, all the better! Bellydance is such a positive influence in my life, and I've seen the positive transformative effects of bellydance in so many other women.

I spend time making high quality, professional costumes. I just finished a costume that I wore with Angelique and the Bellydance Collective at our Rakkasah East performance. It was the smoothest a costume has gone for me, and I'm inspired to make a new bra and belt set very soon! I've made some serious costumes in the past, always re-constructing the bra from scratch, and not leaving on any of the "lingerie" components on it, so that it will look professional and last a long time.

I am a member of a professional dance company. We may not get paid for what we do right now, but I take my commitment to this group and these women very seriously and make it a priority in my life. There very well may be professional paid gigs to come in the future for ABC. With my commitment to ABC comes the responsibility of rehearsing on my own when we have upcoming performances, to be at all group rehearsals and put my best effort forward, to have professional conduct, attitude, and costuming, and yes, to do the homework that our director assigns to make us better performers, not just better technicians of choreography.

I just bought 8 CD's at Rakkasah, which I'll talk about in a separate post. That's a good chunk of money to drop at one time for music. My husband said he'd never be able to buy that much music at once. But the music is to be used in class and I've already found a couple of new songs I want to perform to. I'm also looking for new songs to choreograph to for my students.

So, when I thought about all of those things, I realized that dance is my job, for real. I used to feel guilty about time and money I put into dance, thinking it was a selfish, self-indulgent thing to do when I should be spending time on more "productive" things like cleaning my house or doing more sewing. But I'm so over that now! I give myself permission to dance every day if I want to, because it's something that is an integral part of my life and who I am! And I give myself permission to take a time off from dancing, the way one would take time off of a regular job to take a vacation, so that I don't burn out and feel over-burdened by responsibility to dance.

But most of all, I give myself permission to not feel guilty about the time, money, emotional, mental and physical energy I put into dance. If I didn't dance and all that comes with it, I wouldn't have this pleasure and joy in my life fuels the fire in my soul so that I can flourish in creative ways and help enrich the lives of the people I choose to share my life with!

EDIT: I wanted to add that I've come up with a new "motto" after this past Rakkasah - "VIVA LA BELLYDANCE"!